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School can be a tough place for every kid! Academic demands can lead to stress and frustration and may be the first step on the road to damaged self-esteem.

If you are watching your child work twice as hard as his classmates to keep up with the assignments, you may be thinking: my child needs some learning experiences that he can feel good about!

As an adult, you know there’s so much more to life than school. But kids may have trouble seeing beyond the academic measuring stick. You can help your child gain some perspective (and preserve their love of learning) by facilitating experiences and activities that offer opportunities for success outside of school.

Check out The parent’s guide to extracurricular activities to discover the many benefits of extracurricular activities. Explore our lists of activities for kids of all ages and learn how to help your child choose activities, balance their schedules, and find success both inside and outside the classroom.

Helping your child find success outside of school

When looking for ways to make your struggling learner feel successful, consider this: No one knows your child as well as you do. You understand his strengths, weaknesses, and interests better than anyone. Use this knowledge when choosing activities, even if it means bypassing what all the other kids in the neighborhood are doing in favor of something more suited to him.

A key to success in any activity is that it’s age-appropriate. Be sure to consider your child’s level of maturity and his social comfort zone. For instance, if he feels more comfortable with slightly younger kids, investigate groups or classes that span a range. If she loves being physical, look for learning opportunities that are energetic and active.

Suggested strategies for finding success outside of school

Look into extracurricular activities

• Enroll him in activities outside school: Extracurricular activities, such as clubs, sports, art, drama, and music, offer athletic and creative opportunities for your child. With your guidance, let your child select activities instead of you making the final decision.
• For all extracurricular activities, communicate with group leaders and coaches if your child has any learning difficulties or social, emotional, or physical challenges. The informed leader will be able to work with him more effectively if he’s equipped with this knowledge.
• Find out if a class or club is based on interest or aptitude — be sure you’re not enrolling your child who is just mildly curious about astronomy into who already know, for example, that Saturn has 274 moons.
• Ask about the club’s typical activities and match them with your child’s energy level — classes with very long lectures or a massive amount of quiet time might be a poor match if your child is restless.
• Attend a meeting or two with your child on a trial basis. Be sure the leader’s style and pace are compatible with your child’s.
• For a child who works best in small groups, consider private or semi-private lessons rather than large classes.
• If your child is interested in sports, let him explore a variety of options. For the child who is uncomfortable in a team environment, consider individual sports, such as swimming, ice skating, track and field, tennis, gymnastics, archery, weight training, or martial arts. These types of activities focus less on social skills and teamwork and offer many small milestones to mark success and improvement.

Activities at home

• Give your child daily or weekly jobs: His success with regular chores will help develop a sense of responsibility. When there’s time, collaborate on special projects like house-painting, gardening, cooking, furniture rearranging, or carpentry.
• For the child who has difficulty with organization or memory, set out everything needed to accomplish these daily or weekly jobs without nagging or frustration.
• Let your child teach you or others: Kids naturally love to teach and help others. He probably knows how to do something online that you’ve never done, (like posting TikTok videos).
• Encourage your child to become an expert at anything that interests him. Whether it’s dinosaurs or Disney, baseball or butterflies, nourish your child’s innate curiosity by providing books, references to YouTube videos or other resources. And when you have a free day, take a family field trip related to this interest.
• Let his teachers know about his special knowledge and expertise. Your child will love knowing more than most adults and will be delighted when you or his classmates come to him for answers.
• Let your child lead. Join him in activities that he enjoys and is good at. For instance, computer or video games are an area where he may have more skill than you — let him show you how far he can progress while you’re still stuck on level one.

Exposure to a wide variety of extracurricular activities and out-of-school experiences contributes to learning in fun and non-stressful ways. Don’t pressure your child to excel in the new experiences, let joy and curiosity be the point. With each success, you’ll see your child gain confidence that will spill over into other areas of his life.